Friday, January 31, 2014

Trust

There are some key reasons why the word trust comes to mind when I think of a healthy and balanced diet.

"I'm afraid to go off my meal plan."
"I don't trust that my body will digest this donut."
"I don't trust myself with foods I like."

Notice how each of these comments imply fear and mistrust. And that is why they are so ineffective.We are trying to fool our bodies into becoming something they're not.  I can't remember the last time I set a restriction for myself and then actually stuck with it for life. Yeah, my "no sugar" resolution came to a grueling halt when that cinnamon cream cake was put in front of my face.
And that's OK.
Our brains are like rebellious children. They recognize our attempts to under-eat, and in return, send powerful chemical impulses to overeat what has been restricted. It becomes a power-hungry struggle between ourselves and our body. As if they are two separate beings.

Sometimes I need to step back and remember to trust my body. It knows whats nutrients it needs and wants. I need to listen to the signals it gives me for hunger and fullness. I need to compliment it for how well it treats me day in and day out. After all, I really don't give my body enough credit.

My thighs carry me up mountains.
My arms catch me when I fall and embrace my loved ones.
My chest breathes in life.
My bum keeps me comfortable during long meetings.
My hips hold the rest of my body up straight and tall.
My tummy continues to digest whether I mistreat it or not.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Golden Rule

I'm having a bad day.
But why?
I'm not feeling sick.. my hair looks fine.. I'm not on my period..
I even stepped on the scale this morning to find myself 2 lbs lighter
but I always weigh less in the morning for some reason.
I just don't feel like myself.
I don't want to talk or go out; I just want to lay on the couch in my sweats.
With a pan of brownies.
I feel ugly.
I feel fat.
How ironic.

Feeling fat doesn't motivate me to go workout or eat a bag of carrots. It shoots me into a dark place where I feel hopeless and unhappy. And since today's hopes of healthy eating have gone down the drain, I should probably help myself to another brownie.

I know emotional eating is unhealthy. But how insanely backwards is it that the emotion that drives my binge eating is that of feeling fat? Or the pathetic fact that "fat" now has its very own emoji in my mind.

And if I didn't recognize that I am not alone in these destructive thoughts, I would be too embarrassed by their irrationality to confess them to the world.

The truth is, though, that my stubborn personality needs to be OK to have a "bad day." In fact, I now take as many "bad days" as my body needs to replenish the voids from deprivation. Not to mention the 3 day period of eating only PopTarts because they sounded yummy and had been off limits for so long. But that's what it took for my body to realize that I don't even really like PopTarts. (and I'm not recommending this by the way).

Sometimes is seems that what my taste buds like eating is the opposite of what my body actually likes digesting. But I know it takes time and rehabilitation to figure out a balance between the two. Once harmony is achieved between these seemingly polar opposites, the body has an amazing ability to shed off unnecessary fat and maintain a healthy weight. I am finding this balance by experimenting with food that has been off limits and figuring out what my taste buds and body together truly enjoy eating.

Now the thought of eating a whole pan of brownies makes me sick. Just 2 or 3 will satisfy my sweet tooth :)

A whole day should not be wasted with this fiendish, self deprecating cycle.
Food is here for us to enjoy.
And once our body knows it is no longer in starvation mode, it will rest.
It will stop holding on to every calorie that it tries to digest.
It will no longer feel like a bottomless pit.
Be nice to your body.
And it will be nice to you.

KC

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Diet Shmiet

Ok so, I can admit that at one point in my life I was a calorie EXPERT. I could tell you how much you were eating and how much you were burning at the same time. I could probably tell you how many calories I burned while standing on the scale twice a day. Sounds pathetic when I put it that way right? 

But the truth is that too many of us have fallen into this dieting trap. Maybe because of our role models and the way we were raised, and maybe for the sole reason of suffering from body dissatisfaction. So tell me, does this cycle sound familiar?

  1. DIETING/RESTRICTING: Results from feeling unsatisfied with our bodies. Holding ourselves to unattainable standards. Starting off with lots of motivation.
  2. RESULTS: When the pounds start to come off and we're feelin' good.
  3. CRAVINGS: It is a biological fact that when we (as human beings) are deprived, our minds become fixated on that thing and our so called "will-power" gets weaker. So depriving food (a necessity for human survival) will only result in very intense cravings.
  4. REWARDING: "One little taste won't hurt, I will only take one day off", etc.
  5. OVER-INDULGING: Our bodies enter starvation mode and the mere thought that we will never be able to eat Oreos again, is enough to cram the whole bag down our throats without even enjoying the taste.
  6. GUILT: This is the most lethal stage of all. We feel unworthy, depressed, shameful, and fat. We make a vow to never succumb to such ravenous behaviors ever again.
  7. REPEAT.
The reality is this cycle actually triggers a reverse response from which we intended. It results in a sluggish metabolism, numbness to our hunger and satiety levels, and usually we gain back all the weight and then some. Our motivation is continually depleted and each time we re-enter the cycle, our time spent in stage 1 gets shorter while our time in stages 5 and 6 increases.

And yet the thought of never dieting again is terrifying because then we would be out of control and turn into that dreadful f word...... f@+!

Why can't we reconnect with the eaters we were when we were children. When we ate if we were hungry, and stopped when we were full. How can we find those eaters when they have been suppressed for so long?

Believe it or not, there is a way in which we can attain our natural, healthy weight and reconnect with our inner signals at the same time. And all without entering the vicious cycle above. Cool huh?

Let's begin by taking some advice from British propaganda:


TODAY. RIGHT NOW!

K

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Story of a Girl

WARNING: This is a long post, so if you are in a hurry, or like me just get bored reading wordy posts, read just the blue and you'll get the idea behind my madness.

I am new to this whole blogging thing, so I thought it would be appropriate to introduce myself and tell why I want to share my story. My vision with this blog is to share tips and tricks on how to find your healthy, natural weight by finding peace with food and incorporating healthy eating habits. I will share inspirational stories, facts about dieting, recipes, and methods to help combat our fat-phobic, self deprecating society.

There are many details that led me to where I am today. Although I'm not proud that I succumbed  to the pressures of our society, I am grateful for how much stronger I am because of my journey.

My body image awareness started in 6th grade as I dove into the early stages of puberty. I wasn't too thrilled about this fact because I was a pretty big tom-boy at the time. But as my friends and I changed, I found myself yearning for that girlish figure. And thus the comparing game began.

Middle school and high school went on and I became notorious in my friend group for puttin' down the grub. My best friend referred to me as her garbage disposal and would call me when her family needed to get rid of leftovers.  My mom would always say, "live it up while you're young before your metabolism slows down!" I witnessed my mother constantly dieting and just assumed that was life. But as a young, active teen, I still hadn't found a direct link between what I ate and the way I looked. Soon, I became a pro at bullying myself. Beating myself up in journal entries about my body and "lack of self control" when it came to food. I searched for ways to change.

Giving up food was never a feasible solution for me because I grew up in a large family made up of food lovers and connoisseurs. But I soon developed severe fat-phobia and started feeling guilty when I ate something "unhealthy". I went on my first calorie-restricting diet when I was a junior in high school. I saw immediate results which I was thrilled about--little did I know it was all a deceiving trap.

To make a long story less long, I spun into a cycle of restricting, binge-ing, panicking, purging (there are many forms to do this), feeling guilty, and did I mention restricting? My habits had turned into a full-fledged eating disorder by the time I entered college and I would have NEVER admitted that at the time. Just thinking back to my mindset alone is enough for me to see there was a problem.

I am happy to say that today I found hope. I found peace. I found the joy and pleasure that comes with eating. I am at my natural weight and feeling more healthy than ever. It was not an easy or short road by any means but it was well worth it.


If there are others experiencing the same feelings I did/do, I want you to know that you're not alone and you're DEFINITELY not hopeless. No matter your age or weight, there is a way you can reconnect with you're body's natural/healthy state without having to obsess over diets.

There is a new life waiting for you to live, eat, and be free. 

More insights to come!

xoxo

K

The Battle

I have been to war. 
I have felt defeat. Shame. Guilt. The 'lack of self control'. Obsessing to the point of misery. This growing beast, controlling my thoughts.. emotions.. actions.

I have been to war with Dieting. Sugar. Exercise. Calories. Jealousy. Carbohydrates. Motivation (or lack thereof).

I have been to war with food.
A constant battle with something I love most in life. Completely convinced that this delicious and ESSENTIAL pleasure is also that which will determine my success, potential, and ultimately, my beauty.

Who knew one could obtain such scars from a food fight. But I'm stronger because of it. I raise a victory flag over this enemy which I now, ironically, call my friend. I'm free

I'm excited to share my story and get inspired from all of you that can relate.

Live. Love. Breathe. Enjoy. Believe. Relax. Eat.

K