The Story of a Girl

WARNING: This is a long post, so if you are in a hurry, or like me just get bored reading wordy posts, read just the blue and you'll get the idea behind my madness.

I am new to this whole blogging thing, so I thought it would be appropriate to introduce myself and tell why I want to share my story. My vision with this blog is to share tips and tricks on how to find your healthy, natural weight by finding peace with food and incorporating healthy eating habits. I will share inspirational stories, facts about dieting, recipes, and methods to help combat our fat-phobic, self deprecating society.

There are many details that led me to where I am today. Although I'm not proud that I succumbed  to the pressures of our society, I am grateful for how much stronger I am because of my journey.

My body image awareness started in 6th grade as I dove into the early stages of puberty. I wasn't too thrilled about this fact because I was a pretty big tom-boy at the time. But as my friends and I changed, I found myself yearning for that girlish figure. And thus the comparing game began.

Middle school and high school went on and I became notorious in my friend group for puttin' down the grub. My best friend referred to me as her garbage disposal and would call me when her family needed to get rid of leftovers.  My mom would always say, "live it up while you're young before your metabolism slows down!" I witnessed my mother constantly dieting and just assumed that was life. But as a young, active teen, I still hadn't found a direct link between what I ate and the way I looked. Soon, I became a pro at bullying myself. Beating myself up in journal entries about my body and "lack of self control" when it came to food. I searched for ways to change.

Giving up food was never a feasible solution for me because I grew up in a large family made up of food lovers and connoisseurs. But I soon developed severe fat-phobia and started feeling guilty when I ate something "unhealthy". I went on my first calorie-restricting diet when I was a junior in high school. I saw immediate results which I was thrilled about--little did I know it was all a deceiving trap.

To make a long story less long, I spun into a cycle of restricting, binge-ing, panicking, purging (there are many forms to do this), feeling guilty, and did I mention restricting? My habits had turned into a full-fledged eating disorder by the time I entered college and I would have NEVER admitted that at the time. Just thinking back to my mindset alone is enough for me to see there was a problem.

I am happy to say that today I found hope. I found peace. I found the joy and pleasure that comes with eating. I am at my natural weight and feeling more healthy than ever. It was not an easy or short road by any means but it was well worth it.

If there are others experiencing the same feelings I did/do, I want you to know that you're not alone and you're DEFINITELY not hopeless. No matter your age or weight, there is a way you can reconnect with you're body's natural/healthy state without having to obsess over diets.

There is a new life waiting for you to live, eat, and be free. 

More insights to come!

xoxo

K